Dating for Dumb Rangers
by willwrite4fics
Summary: BH/CG Pls Note: Not implying Rangers are dumb, just that this particular one needs serious assistance in the dating area. Why is he so darned clueless? Is he making an attempt? Very tame.
1. Chapter 1

Okay, since BeachHead has decided to try to get know CoverGirl better, he's been attempting to 'date' as best as they are able in the confines of the Pit. This means going to eat together in the messhall or hanging out and talking.. very casual things like this.

Just as a note, I've been mostly absent due to my computer getting a virus and dying a horrible death, taking ALL of my written work(some 80K words lost irretrievably it looks like). So most updates will be delayed as I re-write FROM scratch everything that was lost. Please see my profile for a updated plan of action in my writing.

Thanks for being great readers! I hope you enjoy this. I own no rights to GI Joe nor the characters, and I make no money from my writings using the characters only in homage to the greatness that is Hasbro and all affiliated owners of the GI Joe license. Long live Hama.

* * * *

CoverGirl smiled to herself. The messhall was packed, Roadblock's lasagna night wasn't to be missed for anything. If you were on duty you could relax because Roadblock was kind enough to send dinner to you if possible. If you had a dinner break you were in the messhall. Tonight was no exception. But the food wasn't the reason behind her smile.

She glanced up at her table companion as he frowned at Dusty who had crowded up behind him trying to squeeze past.

"Watch it.." His warning tone made the hapless trooper jump.

Dusty gave a slight grin, lifting his tray a bit higher. "Sorry Beach.. trying to get to my seat!" He slid past and turned to his friends already seated and eating. Dusty was one of the most liked members of Joe. If a new member didn't like Dusty well.. when that happened she supposed someone would think of something. So far, it wasn't an issue.

"Are ya not feelin' well?" Beach was peering at her from under lowered brow.

She shook her head quickly. "I'm fine. I was just thinking." She put another bite in her mouth and waited for the quip.

"Thinkin'll give ya headaches Barbiedoll. Try jus' eatin' instead." His eyes crinkled slightly at the corners and she smiled and rolled her eyes at him. "Ya better eat.. someone might decide yer gonna waste that plate of lasagna and take it from ya."

She hunched over her plate and put her elbows out, growling. "Let's see 'em try!" Beach suddenly lifted his head looking past her and she twisted to see what had caught his attention. When she didn't see anything of note she turned back to ask him what he'd seen and noted her missing plate. "Ha ha. Very witty, Mr soon-to-be neutered Ranger."

He almost cracked a smile as he set her plate back. "Ya practically asked fer it."

"I did indeed." Tucking into her meal properly, she still watched the drill instructor as he ate. His balaclava was tucked into the shoulder of his tactical vest safely. Pulling it off had caused his hair to become rumpled up in messy locks still showing traces of mud from his latest obstacle course. "Why didn't you shower before dinner?"

She saw him stiffen defensively. "Didn't wanna be late meetin' ya."

"I'm that important?" She let a hint of teasing show in her voice and saw him relax just a little. "Well.. maybe me and the lasagna too? More lasagna or more me?"

"More you. Kinda.. hmm.." He considered that with mock seriousness. "I'd say about seventy/thirty.. you/lasagna."

"I'm flattered." She wiped the smears of marinara sauce off her plate with a bite of bread.

He got his last bite swallowed. "Yeah? Ya should be. This is good danged lasagna. Plus.. Ah missed lunch." She could see the slightest bit of smiling at the corner of his mouth telling her he was enjoying teasing her. Good mood tonight then.

Getting up, she took his tray and dumped them back into the kitchen bin. "Soo.." He stepped up beside her as she walked slowly out of the messhall, moving towards the Joe living quarters level. "Sooo... I was thinking that perhaps it would be a nice night for a stroll topside later after it gets dark. Supposed to be clear skies."

He nodded absently. "Yeah.. gonna be cold though." He wasn't even looking at her and she took a breath.

"Yes..well. I think it would be nice out.. nice night." She gave him a significant look.

"Take a jacket. Wouldn't want ya to catch a chill or nothin'." He stopped walking when she did, looking calmly down at her where she puffed out an exasperated breath. "What?"

Swallowing the first four retorts about him being totally obliviously to everything, she calmed herself and smiled. "Beach. Would you like to go for a walk topside later tonight with me?"

He frowned and opened his mouth to say no.. then suddenly got a strange look as if something just had occurred to him. "Oh." She was treated to him blushing just a little bit in embarrassment. "Sorry. Umm.. been a long day? Can I use that excuse?" She nodded. "Okay. Yes.. love to go fer a walk. I got time to hit the showers?"

"Of course. I'd like for you to smell a bit better than you do right now. Nothing personal.." She sent a flirty glance his way. "..but.. if I'm planning on being close to you, I'd like to smell something other than the squishy green mud."

"No problem. I was running tripwires in one of the mudpits. Up to my eyebrows in it. I'll clean up." He wandered off and she wondered about how he could be totally embarrassed about missing the hints and clues.. yet totally nonchalant about smelling like a pigpen. She decided that the fact that he felt she was worth rushing to the messhall without showering, and that she was worth showering to go walking with.. was flattering. It was that or fling her hands up in the air and curse loudly. Since she'd already DONE that three times this week, she'd chose to believe it was flattering. After all, it was only wedsday.

* * * *

CoverGirl finally wandered up to the surface when BeachHead didn't reappear. As she somewhat suspected, she found him just outside the motorpool entrance standing patiently in the dark. His casual clothing of teeshirt and fatigue pants with no mask seemed almost like finding him in his pajamas. When she sighed at him, his face turned to watch her coming up.

She saw his head duck slightly as he spoke quietly into the darkness. "Thought maybe you changed yer mind." To her surprise there was hurt in his tone and she moved up to beside him to look up at his face.

"I wouldn't do that. I thought we were meeting downstairs and walking up to here.. so I was waiting for you." She smiled at him. "But I figured out you must be already up top, so here I am."

He relaxed just enough for her to notice. "Oh." He tucked his hands into his pockets and looked aside. "Umm.. so.. here we are. You wanna pick a direction?"

"A direction?" Some times the man was just cryptic.

He gave a light sigh. "Ya wanna go fer a walk.. be easier to know what direction ya wanna head in.. otherwise, it's hard ta follow ya."

Twisting her lips, she stared at him for a second and then turned and pointed. "Let's go that way." He agreeably fell in beside her as she walked. "Some times I really wonder about you, Beach."

He raised one eyebrow at her, walking along easily with hands in pockets. His longer legs meant he didn't have to try to keep up with her stride. "What do you wonder about me? I ain't one to go sharing everything.. but not like ya can't go ahead and ask."

"Really?" She watched him nod. "Well.. don't take this the wrong way but.. have you EVER dated a girl? You have to be the worst guy ever at picking up on cues."

She saw him look uncomfortable. "Well.. I'm sorry."

"It's okay.. I just.. " Suddenly she stopped talking and looked at him. "You didn't answer the question."

Now he looked highly uncomfortable. "No.. I guess I didn't." He gestured slightly for her to go around the heavy wall separating the obstacle course area from the general PT space. "I don't really.. I mean.." He stopped walking and looked at her. "No, I haven't really ever dated no one. There. Now.. you can go fill in all the rest of the guys so they can all nod their danged heads and say 'well, why would any lady want to go datin' him anyway?' and they can have a good danged laugh."

"BeachHead.. I wouldn't.. I wasn't implying.." CoverGirl sighed at him. "Ever??"

"No.. not really." He moved to the side of the wall to lean his back against it. "When the heck was I supposed to go datin' anyone? Growin' up.. no money, no prospects, no girls interested and no time nor money to date 'em. Once I got into the Army.. no time and it was considered inappropriate conduct most of the time.. when I was in country even. What sort of datin' was I supposed to do? I didn't really go for the bars.. don't do well under the influence.. as ya know by now.." He shrugged at her smile. "Yeah yeah.. not one to hold my liquor well.. it's either fight or get into trouble some unique way."

"Yeah, I guess. But most Army guys.. especially the young ones.. they find some willing girl in a nearby town. You know.. have some fun, go out places." She turned to lean against the wall beside him, settling into his faded shadow cast by the half full moon. "Why didn't you ever do that?"

She saw him twitch visibly and wondered at that. His shoulders bunched up and she could almost hear his breathing hitch slightly. "Wasn't.. I mean.." His face turned aside. "I wasn't allowed to.. and then I got assigned to a combat unit and sent over to the jungles."

"What do you mean 'not allowed to', Beach?" CoverGirl tried to watch his face but he suddenly relaxed and she cursed in her head. He'd come up with a suitable way to put her off the subject.

"Just wasn't allowed really.. young guys got in trouble for that.. besides, was only a year a'fore I was overseas with my unit. They only sent me back to go through Ranger school. Sure wasn't no time for nothin' at all during Ranger training." Now he looked down at her with a wicked look. "Wait.. do I get ta count hookers?"

"Beach!!" She punched his arm lightly. "Don't you dare tell me you went around picking up prostitutes!"

"Okay.. I won't tell ya." His amusement made her give him another punch. "Ow! Dang.. I was jus' answerin' yer danged questions!"

"I did not ask you if you picked up hookers."

"Nooo.. but ya did ask about datin' women.. I guess it's related.. vaguely."

"Alright then.." She straightened her expression to a serious mien. "Where did you pick up hookers?"

To her surprise he blushed so hard, she could see it in the moonlight even. "Well.. ya know.."

"No, actually I don't. So tell me." She crossed her arms. "You brought it up."

"I did, didn't I? I am stupid at times. Alright.." He tried very hard to look nonchalant as he fidgeted. "Fine.. one right out of Basic, one of those stupid young men out celebratin' type things. Two overseas when we wasn't out on patrol or on duty. So there. Three." His casual tone was belied by the fact that he wouldn't look anywhere near her direction.

"Three? Wait.. wait.." Suddenly CoverGirl looked appalled. "Wait.. does that mean.. you've only had sex.. three times? In your LIFE?"

"Well.." Now he looked up at the moon. "Nooo.. I guess not."

"Spill it Sneeden. How many times have you had sex?" She waited.

"Five." His quick answer startled her.

"Five? In your WHOLE life? You're kidding! Is that physically possible for a guy?" She clamped down on the laugh that wanted to escape so badly. It would irretrievably damage his ego if she laughed at him right now.

"Five.. and yeah obviously it's possible. How many times have you had sex?" His challenging tone made her wish to laugh die immediately.

"More than five."

"That's not a real answer. I told you. You should tell me." She was relieved to hear the amused tone creeping back into his voice.

"Well.. I didn't offer to answer questions, you did. Soo.. more than five." She scooted over a little closer to him and lowered her voice. "And before you start thinking about it.. no one in Joe.. and no one you've ever met. So.. there you go." He nodded. "It IS a nice night out, isn't it?"

"Yeah. It's clear, just cold." Glancing down at her, Beach seemed to consider something for a moment and she tried not to hold her breath at the thought he would finally DO something. "You should have a jacket on. Yer gonna get cold out here."

She sighed again. "I know. I'm feeling a bit cold already." She straightened up and moved away from the wall. "Where shall we walk to next?"

He followed her across the dry grass. "Well.. if'n yer not freezin'..." She assured him she was fine. "How about we climb instead of walk?"

"Climb what?" She looked up as he gestured towards his obstacle course's climbing tower. The basic open frame with several levels of floors was used mainly in team climbing. It was possible for one person to climb the entire thing.. but difficult. "Climb up the tower? Is this some sort of way to get me to do extra PT?"

"No Barbiedoll.. I just thought you'd like to see the view from up top." She rolled her eyes and he pointed. "Just get up there!" His sudden grab at her waist to boost her up to the first level made her squeak. She grabbed the 'floor' of the next level and pulled herself up. Before she could turn to assist him, he'd already jumped up to lift himself up on his hands, swinging a leg over the edge easily. He held out cupped hands to offer to boost her to the next level, and she sighed at him and reached up to grasp the edge of the floor, putting her knee into his hands to be lifted up easily. "Watch out.." He faced outwards this time, reaching up to hold the floor above his head and kicking out to flip over onto the next level beside her.

"Show off." She couldn't help but grin at him as she accepted the boost up again, clapping her hands lightly as he repeated the flip for her. "You really do like being all vain about your physical abilities, don't you?"

"Ain't bein' vain if it ain't a boast.. " He shot her a almost boyish grin as he swung himself out onto the upright corner log and shimmied up it instead. Leaning over the edge, he reached down towards her. Gimme yer hand." Grasping it, he lifted her slight form up. "Don't be thinkin' I don't expect ya to climb this proper the rest of the time though.."

"Perish the thought." The next few levels went quickly and finally Beach gave her one last lift up onto the 'roof' of the tower. "Geez.. I don't think I've ever been up on the roof. Gives you vertigo to look off with nothing around you or above you.."

He gazed around easily and suddenly sat down, patting the wooden planks. "It's fine.. for gawd's sake don't fall off though. We're an easy sixty feet up." She settled as close to him as she dared and to her surprise he scooted himself slightly closer. When she looked at him, he seemed as if he were waiting for her to move away, and she smiled and shifted just another half inch closer instead. He smiled back. "Look up."

She gave him a look of puzzlement. "What do you mean?" Tilting her head upwards she looked at the clear dark sky filled with stars. "Wow.. it's gorgeous." After a moment, she turned to say something to him and looked around. "Beach?" Suddenly a touch on her amr alerted her to him laying on his back beside her.

He moved his hand away, slipping it behind his head. "Better to lay back if'n yer gonna star-gaze. Otherwise ya get cricks in yer neck."

She forbade herself the sigh of disappointment. "Gotcha." She lay back on the hard planks and tried to pick out the constellations she knew. For a while they pointed out different ones, taking turns naming them until BeachHead starting making up new ones for random stars.

"That's the Yeller Dog cluster.." She laughed at her serious tone. "No really.. see.. there's his tail.. and see? He's poopin' on Orion's belt.."

"Stop!" She wiped at her face, still grinning. "You're just being silly now."

"Yeah.. guess so." He turned his head to look at her. "Thanks."

"What for?" Rolling onto her side, she pillowed her cheek on her hands and watched him.

"Fer.. ya know.. comin' out to walk.. or.. well.. lay around on the roof of the tower." He turned his face back upwards although his eyes were unfocused. "It was nice."

"Your welcome Beach. Thanks for bringing me up here." She could see him thinking for a few minutes.

"You could call me Wayne.. you know. Since.. we're not on duty right now. Not like.. all the time.." He swallowed, betraying nervousness that simply seemed too endearing to her right then.

"Alright Wayne. And you can call me Courtney.. when we're not on duty and all that." She kept a very serious tone. "This WAS nice." Impulsively she reached out and put an arm around his startled neck and hugged him, tucking her face into his shoulder for a few moments. "Best date I've had in months."

"Geez.." Beach's shoulders shifted around as he settled again after the unexpected contact. "Well, best date I've had ever." He paused before adding. "Best date ever, Courtney."

"Thanks." She rolled onto her back again and took a long deep breath. "Do you come here often?"

He suddenly laughed and she rolled back onto her side to look at him in puzzlement. When he finally stopped, he looked at her. "Isn't that the oldest pick-up line in the book, Courtney?"

"Oh good lord!" She whacked across his face with an arm. "Thanks! Way to break the mood Wayne."

"Sorry.. but I'm right.. ain't I?"

"Yes.. you're right. That's not how I meant it."

"Sorry. No, I don't come up here all that often. Just when I want to be alone and think about stuff sometimes. When it ain't rainin'." He looked over at her. "You can come out here too.. but don't do it alone.. I don't want to come out one morning and find ya done gone and broke yer pretty neck fallin' off here."

"What? It's okay for us to come out and find YOU out here with a broken neck?"

"I ain't gonna fall off."

"You could fall off. No one is perfect. Even SnakeEyes has to trip some time or other."

"Yeah well.. Snakes didn't build this tower. I won't fall off it."

"Really? You think so?"

"I know so." His confident expression made her shove him sideways without warning. "WHOA!" To her horror, he rolled over and off the side to disappear.

"BEACH!! Oh my GOD!!" She scrambled to hands and knees to peer over, expecting to see a sprawled body. The soft laugh from the level under her made her grit her teeth. "That wasn't funny!"

"I beg ta differ.. that was funny."


	2. Chapter 2:Cars and frustrations

With a returned laptop, I can now give you a new chapter to the Dating Saga. Yes, the laptop is returned, although the files were lost, but now I can write in more than 15 minute windows! In fact... this chapter was written and completed this afternoon on the restored laptop. Thank you ALL for being so supportive and encouraging!

* * * *

BeachHead watched avidly as CoverGirl rooted around in the engine compartment of her car. He wasn't certain she could rightly call the metal hulk a 'car' since it wasn't running yet and half the parts were laying around in various degrees of disrepair. The view from his vantage point was rather nice though. The fatigue pants didn't quite hide the shapely legs and nothing on this earth could hide that really nicely rounded... One grease-covered hand came out to wave at him vaguely.

"Gimme a three-sixteenths." The distracted voice was partly muffled by the engine block she had her head stuffed down next to.

"Uhh.. okay." Rummaging in her toolbox, he came up with a wrench and handed it over. She tucked her arm back down then stuck it right back out to him.

"Socket.. not a wrench, Beach!" He took it back and rummaged again for a socket wrench and the appropriate sized socket to attach to it. Somehow it seemed to take him forever to find the right socket.. then it wouldn't snap into place. Finally he reached to put the tool into her hand, just as she raised up to see what was taking him so long. The wrench smacked her forehead. "OW! Dang Beach!"

"Sorry!" He held it out. "Didn't mean to go whacking you with it."

She plucked the wrench up and shook her head, diving back into the engine. "It's okay.. you're just a disaster sometimes." There was a clink-clink noise from down in the engine. "But that's okay.. ahhh got you.. little bugger bolts." She handed out a few small bolts to the waiting BeachHead. "Hang onto those."

"Okay." Pocketing the bolts carefully, he tugged the slightly damp teeshirt off his chest. It was warm out, but at least he wasn't weighted down with his normal padded body armor, nor was he sweating under a balaclava. He'd taken a rare day off to hang out with his favorite tank jockey. Reaching out, he took the greasy part she handed him. "Got it. Uhh.. what is it?"

"That would be a four-barrel Carter. Not all that bad and of course, it's original to the car.. and the original to the model. I'm gonna replace that baby with three Rochesters.. two-barrels... and since this Carter is perfectly fine, I'll sell it off to someone who is more interested in original make and model schematics than the better carb." She grinned and then saw the utterly blank look on his face and sighed. "It's a carburetor. I'll put in a better kind."

He brightened. "Gotcha. Better carb means a more powerful engine. Right?"

"You got it." She took the part in hand to poke it a few times. "I'm just happy this baby is a four-speed instead of the manual three. All the ones I saw previous were three-speeds."

He peered at the engine, perhaps hoping to see a sign that explained why one would care. "Don't most cars have.. four or five?"

"Yesss.. today. Back in the day, these GTOs were all by their lonesome as the first of the big engine small muscle cars. This is going to be one sweeet ride. When it's on the road, I'll take you out on the first test drive!" She beamed at him and handed the messy part back. "Just stuff it into that box over there. Scarlett's uncle will take it off my hands and sell it to someone. I'll just take credit, be spending more money with him anyway."

"Makes sense. He seemed like a right nice fellow. Seemed to really know his car stuff, that's fer sure." Tucking the fancy carburetor into the beat up cardboard box, Beach tucked the flaps in to close it. "What next?"

"Oh.. I'll probably pull the plugs and check the gapping." She reached up and nudged a lock of her long hair back behind her ear, leaving a smudge of dark grease. "Just take a few minutes."

He hesitated then reached out to her cheek.. pausing when she looked at him in puzzlement. "Ya got.." A gentle wipe with his thumb removed most of the smear. "Jus' some oil.. " He looked away then glanced back at her. "Sorry."

"It's alright." A little bit of a smile played around her lips and he hoped she was happy and not just finding amusement at his awkwardness. She reached up to his face and with a quick movement, swiped a grimy finger across his cheekbone. "There. Now we match."

"Geez." He reached up and wiped at it with the edge of his palm a few times. "Thanks.. I take grease offa you.. and ya go and get it on me." A few more wipes and he'd managed to effectively spread it across his entire cheek.

She laughed softly and took his wrist to stop the futile efforts. "Stop.. stop.." Digging out a shop rag from her pocket, she used it to carefully clean the side of his face while he stood patiently. "I'm sorry.. there. All gone. I just can't help it.. you hardly ever have that mask off.. I just can't help it when I have access to those rosy cheeks."

He twisted his face slightly and rubbed at it anyway. "It's no big deal." Looking a little embarrassed, he shifted his weight back on his heels and looked back at the engine. "Sooo.. ya gotta lot to do to it yet." The questioning tone made her grin.

"Yeah.. a LOT. But it'll be worth it. This car is a classic." She patted the front left fender fondly, ignoring the fact that the right front fender was missing entirely and ignoring the primer paint and dent in the metal she caressed. "It's going to be great."

"Don't look like much. Ya know.. " Beach motioned toward the outline of the vehicle. "It's not very.. uhh.. sporty looking." He suddenly turned and put his hands up. "Not that Ah'm disparagin' it or nuthin' to ya!"

His apparent fear of her wrath softened the punch she planted into his ribs. His annoyed expression as he rubbed the spot mollified her only slightly. "BeachHead!! It's a 64 GTO!!! How could you SAY that?!"

He stepped away slightly before he held a hand out to it. "Well.. it ain't. Ya know how corvettes are all.. smooth and curvy? Yer GTO ain't. It's kinda blocky." He ducked that time and her punch went wild over his head. Wrapping arms around her from behind, he held her still and ducked his head against her neck to keep out of reach of the flailing arms. He did have to shift his feet pretty quickly to avoid losing one of his kneecaps as she used her boots to the fullest. When she tried to throw him over her shoulder, he simply leaned his weight back and chuckled at the struggles. "Calm down."

"Get OFF ME!" CoverGirl's heel slammed into the arch of his foot, the blow blunted substantially by the heavy combat boots he wore. "BLOCKY!?"

"No offense meant! Stop tryin' to kill me!" He twisted his face to the side to avoid getting smashed as she tried to slam the back of her head into his. "Come on.. I was jokin' with ya.. I love yer car.. it's gorgeous.. really." Her struggles slowed and finally stopped. "It's an awesome car.. beats any old corvette type thing all to pieces." Her panting was the only sound for a moment.

"You better damned well mean that Wayne. Because if you mouth off about my car again.." The threat in her tone made him smile just a little bit.. since she couldn't see his face and deck him for it.

"Yes ma'am. Love the car." He inhaled deeply with his nose buried in her hair. "Ya smell really nice too."

"Don't try to flatter me. Say you're sorry!" She shifted inside his locked arms to slam an elbow into his ribs. "And you better mean it!"

"I"m sorry I said yer pretty car was blocky.." The deep brown eyes softened as he brushed his jaw against the side of her head. "Best car ever.. gorgeous.. soo.. soft and.. nice..."

"Beach.. " She smiled and leaned back against his chest. "I don't think you're talking about the car anymore." He hummed softly then suddenly let her go and stepped away, looking startled.

"Ahh.. yeah.." She watched him shrug his shoulders around slightly as if readjusting himself in his skin. "Anyway.. sorry, didn't mean to insult yer car."

"It's okay.. this once." She sighed and tossed the shoprag onto the engine block. "I'm not going to mess with it anymore right now. And... you're right in a way. It's not much to look at right now. But I'll have it up and running. It just needs a LOT. And I have to get bits and parts as I can. And it's slow putting things together on my rare time off. So.. hey. Eventually I'll have a real sweet muscle car that would be the envy of everyone." She gave a pat to the hood and then slammed it closed.

"What else does it need?" Beach took the heavy toolbox from her hand and fell in beside her as she headed towards the motorpool.

"Oh.. just a bunch of stuff. I already got those new carbs.. gotta get a radiator.. gonna rebuild the brakes probably. Maybe need two new wheel hubs entirely.. if I can't break those loose. Right now the left rear is frozen up completely." She smiled to herself as she thought about the work she'd be doing to her project car.

"A new fender?" He smiled slyly as she swatted his arm. "Sorry.. it does need the fender.. even I can see it missin'."

"Yes.. but I have the fender. I just have to beat the dents out and primer it." She pointed to her workbench. "Drop the tools over there." He set the toolbox down and placed the box of carburetor next to it. Standing on the lift, she swiped her security card and punched the button to take them down to the messhall level. "You want some lunch?"

Jumping into place as the lift began to descend, BeachHead gave her a shrug. "Sure. I could eat."

"You could always eat, Ranger man. Never met a guy who ate so much and gained no weight." She gave a poke at his belly, making him frown at her.

"I work it off. If'n I don't eat as much as I do, I'd lose weight and then Doc makes me drink them protein drinks and junk. Rather eat food especially if Roadblock is doing the cookin' in the messhall." They arrived at the lower level and stepped off to walk down the corridor to the messhall itself.

As they passed by the offices, Flint's voice called out to Beach. "Sergeant major!" Beach's face settled into a resigned expression as he turned back. Stepping in the doorway, he raised an eyebrow at the warrant officer. "Beach.. I need those requisitions for the new armor for your newest greenshirts."

BeachHead narrowed his eyes. "I already sent those up. It's only three sets."

"Three sets is three sets I have to approve." Flint's voice became steely. "Don't be sending requisitions over my head. They come to me.. and I'll send them on after I check on them and approve them."

"I sent them to you. I didn't go sending nothin' over yer danged head. Gawd knows everyone has to have yer opinion on whether I need a couple sets of armor." The burly Ranger twitched and crossed his arms, feeling his skin crawl at confronting his adversary without his usual mask and tactical vest. It was strictly mental, still made him more irritable.

"Don't give me that tone." Flint leveled a finger at him. "You can't be just doing whatever you want just because you're in charge of the greenies. I want those forms now!"

"Look through yer danged inbox. Ain't my job to find yer lost paperwork." Before Flint could retort, Beach turned to leave. "I'm headed to lunch.. it's my danged day off. Ask me about it tomorrow if'n ya ain't found it." He strode down to the messhall, collecting CoverGirl on the way from where she was waiting patiently. "Danged Flint."

"He giving you guff over something again?" She tucked her arm through BeachHead's and smiled as he shifted to walk closer to her side. "Don't pay attention to him.. you know he's just trying to get you riled up."

"He's good at doin' it. Ain't no nevermind." He entered the messhall to find it packed with people. His arm slipped away from hers. "Great.. keep yer eyes peeled fer a table."

"Oh screw a table. Let's get sandwiches and drinks and eat up top. It's gorgeous weather." She headed for the side table where a huge stack of pre-made sandwiches and items for lunches to go were stacked and waiting for those Joes that needed to grab a fast lunch.

"Alright." He followed her over, ignoring the curious looks from a few teammates already seated. Gathering up a couple roast beef on rye sandwiches and a bag of chips, he tucked an apple into a thigh pocket and grabbed up a bottle of water. Watching Courtney gather up a sandwich and a drink, he picked up a wrapped slice of pound cake and tucked that into a thigh pocket as well before she turned to gesture to the door.

"Come on, Beach.. where shall we eat?" Her light teasing tone caught his attention. "Shall we go desecrate your PT course?"

He rolled his eyes and nodded at the lift they'd just descended. "Sure... maybe I'll have ya on the course without havin' to scream at ya fer a change."

"You better not be screaming at me during lunch on my day off. I'll have to kneecap you." She nudged him in the ribs as they exited. A few casual greetings were shouted to CoverGirl as she exited the motorpool. She gave them a wave and moved more quickly. "Come on.. " She lengthened her stride and enjoyed the sunshine and mild weather. "It's so nice out today."

"Yep." He motioned. "Ya wanna sit under the A-frame? Get some shade." They headed that direction.

Her sarcastic reply didn't surprise him. "No Beach.. I thought we'd sit in one of the mudpits," she said. He grimaced as she snickered at him. "A-frame is fine.. I'd like a bit of shade and we won't have to worry as much about people staring at us."

"Ain't no one out here to go starin' at us. Folks don't tend to come out on the PT courses 'less they got to." Beach stood to the side while she crouched and walked under the bracing board to pick out a spot on the thick grass underneath the obstacle. Once she was settled, he settled onto his heels and duck-walked into place beside her. Dropping onto one hip, he sat his food down and dug out the apple and cake. Handing the slice of pound cake to her, he shrugged slightly. "Sorry.. guess it's a little squashed. Thought you'd like cake too."

"Thanks Beach!" She accepted it and put it aside. "Squashed don't matter!" They unwrapped and ate their lunches in relative silence. CoverGirl concentrated on her sandwich, occasionally watching her companion as he peered out. "What are you looking for?"

"Nuthin'." He ducked his head down and finished off his apple, eating the core as she made a face. "What?"

"Why do you eat the whole apple?" She applied herself to the cake, licking her fingers.

"Why not? Ain't no sense in wastin' a chunk of apple." Leaning back, he itched his back against the inside of the A-frame wall a couple times. "Cake good?"

"Yep. I was more hungry than I thought." She scooted over to sit next to him, leaning on his shoulder and smiling up at him briefly. "Thanks. This was a nice picnic."

"I guess it was." His weathered face tilted to look at her against him. "Am I doin' okay?"

She laughed softly. "What do you mean, 'are you doing okay'?"

He looked aside and took a deep breath. "Well.. you know.. in this whole.. togetherness stuff. I'm not screwin' up too much?"

Her serious expression reassured him. "Yes, you're doing just fine. As long as you stop dissing my car.. you should be fine." She waited a few seconds while he relaxed. "You could do something though."

"What would that be?" He'd settled back against the wall at her answer.

"You could kiss me." She smiled. "You know.. just on occasion.. once in a while?"

He inhaled and looked at her. "Ya mean.. like now?"

Bending over, she laughed. She didn't want to.. but it just was so absurd that the confident self-assured Ranger was so very very out of his depth in at least one area of his life. "Sorry. Yes. Now would be nice."

He waited for her to stop laughing at him. "It's not all that funny." When she started to open her mouth to retort, he bent over and kissed her. His lips pressed hers and when she would have pulled back startled, his hand came up to cup her head in place. When his lips parted slightly, she licked her tongue out to taste him, enticing him to respond warmly.

After a few minutes they parted, and she blinked up at his hungry gaze. She smiled tentatively. "Well.. that was nice. Takes a while to get you there.. but you sure produce once you get going."

"Glad you approve of my kissin' abilities. I'd hate to think I'd hafta run ya down every time I wanna kiss ya." The hand that held her head drifted downwards to stroke along her cheek softly. "You taste so good."

"Mmm.. I probably taste like motor oil and cake." Her smile made her eyes sparkle with mischief.

"Then that's one awfully tasty combo." He leaned towards her again, stopping just shy of touching her lips again, letting her complete the offer and fasten her lips to his. Her soft moan made him inhale deeply. His face turned aside slightly and she kissed along his cheek gently. "Did ya hear somethin'?"

"No.. didn't hear anything." Her hand turned his face back to kiss her lips again. "Hmm... yes.."

"SERGEANT MAJOR??"

Both of them turned to look towards the shout. BeachHead cursed softly under his breath. "Dang stupid greenshirt.."

"Who is that?" CoverGirl leaned across his lap slightly to peer out. "One of the greenies? One with a death wish?"

He sighed. "Ya could say that... " His voice raised to yell loudly. "WHAT WILLIAMS??"

"Sergeant major!! There's an issue in the barracks! I think you need to come right away!" The urgency in the private's voice made Beach's cursing get louder.

"AH AIN'T ON DUTY TODAY!!" He waited for the inevitable reply. "That boy is gonna die."

"BUT MOUTH SORTA SAID STUFF AND NOW BUYOUR HAS ACETYLENE!" Williams had begun to have a slight note of panic.

He twisted to kiss her quickly. "Sorry.. "

"Beach! You're OFF-duty." Her half-hearted protest made him sigh.

"I know.. I know.. but if there's some problem... ain't like they'll work it out themselves.. I'm sorry!" He got up and climbed out from under the A-frame. "WILLIAMS!! There danged well BETTER be a danged fire!"

"Not when I left.. but might be by the time we get there, Sergeant major!" Williams trotted over to the annoyed Ranger, nodding to CoverGirl when she emerged behind him. "Corporal CoverGirl." His polite greeting was brief as he turned to head towards the upper barracks that the greenshirts used. "Sergeant major.. you better get over there.."

"I know.. I know. I swear ya'll greenies are gonna regret this.." He followed after, casting a last apologetic glance at the tank jockey who kicked the grass angrily and clenched her teeth, reminding herself that it wasn't BeachHead's fault.. it was his rank and his job to take care of things no matter what hour of what day.. even if he might be messing around with his almost-girlfriend.

Pressing her lips together firmly, she gave the A-frame a last kick. "Dammit."

* * * *

End chapter

Yess.. Private Williams continues to manage to put himself into danger's path. How long WILL he survive doing these things? Thank you for reading, and as always feel free to review or message!


	3. Chapter 3:Distractions

Yet another lunch 'date' more or less.. poor BeachHead and CoverGirl just can't catch a break.

* * * *

BeachHead sat in his office and sighed at the stack of paperwork. He really did despise having to sit in an office. He knew for a fact that Duke and Hawk both hated paperwork as well.. and they did more of it than he was saddled with. Even Flint didn't like paperwork.. although Beach occasionally did intentionally send a few extra things just so Flint had to deal with them. He believed in spreading his suffering to those that irked him.

Reaching up, he ran both hands through his short hair and scratched his scalp. Then puffing out a loud breath, he pulled out the next set of performance reports to begin filling out the information on each soldier under his PT program. Each report was updated with weekly information from his own notes he kept. He could easily track who improved, who had plateaued, who was slacking off and even who was recovering from injury or illness. Learning how far he could and should push each person as an individual was a tricky art form. A few of the Joes were in top form, unable to progress any further and those few individuals he simply made sure they didn't slack off. A few were always back-sliding if he took his attention from them, and those were often assigned extra PT to make them reach the goals HE set.

His nose twitched slightly and his attention wandered ever so slightly to note that it was well after lunch. He really should have taken the time to go get something to eat. Breakfast was a long time ago and he'd run it all off on the obstacle courses chasing a few errant greenshirts through the worst of it when they'd made a few disparaging remarks about him standing off rather than running the course himself. Once they'd been chased through it four times with him appearing every bit as fresh on the fourth trip as the first, he'd let them know he himself ran the danged course twice each morning just to be certain all was in order. It prevented stupid accidents when things began to break down or pranks had been installed on his course without his knowledge. So far he'd found untied ropes on the rope swings, loosened boards on the A-frame and walls, slick spots on ramps and even on the leaning logs, and this morning, trip wires that HE hadn't installed.. although he'd ended up leaving two that were in really odd spots that had sent him flying unexpectedly into the mudpits one early morning. Those tripwires had caught most the Joes unaware, with BeachHead watching carefully to see who jumped over them without prior warning. Thus had Shipwreck and Clutch gone to the grass to perform punishment PT for an extra hour. Since he'd waited until well after the entire team had run the course, the two miscreants were puzzled at how he figured out they were responsible. He wouldn't let on that they'd jumped two of their sneaky tripwires that he'd removed. The only ones who would know those had been there would be the ones who installed them.

When everyone had shown up and found the drill instructor covered in muck, no one had batted an eye. Half the team truly believed he soaked in the mud of his own free will on a regular basis. CoverGirl had raised an eyebrow and exchanged a puzzled look with LadyJaye. Since he'd given every appearance of being in a truly foul mood, neither of the women had asked him about his mud soaking.

Sighing to himself, he used the end of his pencil to itch over his ear a little. It had taken a good twenty minutes in a hot shower to get the sticky itchy mud off of himself. A fresh change of clothing and he'd tossed his body armor into a corner to scrub later on. The lightweight Kevlar vest served as well for his time in the offices. The body armor could wait until the afternoon. Usually he wouldn't have even bothered with the shower, except that he knew his whole afternoon would be spent behind the desk. Dirty he didn't mind.. but itchy while having to do boring reports would drive him insane.

Burying himself in the paperwork, he concentrated on getting it done, rather than his grumbling stomach. He had gone a week without eating before and he wasn't about to fold up and die due to missing lunch for a couple of hours.

"Hey Beach?" The hesitant greeting made him look up at the door of his office. CoverGirl poked her head in with a slightly worried expression. "Uhh.. it okay if I brought you some lunch?"

He nodded. "Sure thing Barbiedoll.. I appreciate it." A short motion encouraged her to enter the room. "I'm starvin', just swamped in paperwork." Moving a stack of folders aside, he made space for the lunch plates.

She looked him over suspiciously as she set down two covered plates. "You don't look muddy.. or angry anymore."

He gave a slight shrug. "I ain't angry.. and I took a shower. Ain't no reason to go bein' miserable in my office all afternoon." Sniffing at the plates, he did wait politely for her to seat herself in his extra chair. "What'd ya bring me?"

"I brought you beef stew over rice with white beans and cauliflower and some bread." She lifted the tray lid and watched him begin to drool. "I didn't have them put cheese sauce on the cauliflower... I didn't think you liked it." She pulled the second plate to herself and uncovered her own plate of salad and a smaller helping of the beef stew over rice. He was already digging into the food. "Geez Beach.. slow down. You're going to choke."

"Naw.. " He swallowed again. "Won't choke.. this's really good, Courtney. Thanks. I woulda thought you'd bring me a sandwich or something.. not a whole danged meal." He stabbed up some of the cauliflower bits. "I don't mind cheese sauce.. not a huge fanatic over it like Scarlett or nothin' but it's okay."

She shook her head watching him put down four times the food she had on her plate in less time than it took her to work through her salad. He used the bread to wipe the surface of the plate so clean it squeaked on the last swipe. "That was one good lunch. Thank you." A quick lick of his fingers and he eyed her plate. "Ya gonna finish that, right?"

"YES!" She pulled her plate a bit closer to herself. "You just leave my lunch alone."

"I ain't gonna steal yer meal." Going back to the files, he pulled out the next sheet and the correct file to go with it. His clipboard of notes was set next to his elbow so he could begin writing down all the various information. Once CoverGirl finished her own lunch, she stacked the two plates and covers and watched him as he wrote and flipped papers around. Finally he looked over at her. "Ya just gonna watch me do paperwork?"

"Sure. I'm off for the rest of the day." Giving him a brilliant smile, she twisted on the chair a little bit, tilting her head in that adorable way that caught every male's attention without fail. Beach, completely oblivious, bent back over his forms and she frowned slightly. "So.. what time do you.. get off?"

"About six or so. I gotta do a full security inspection patrol some time this afternoon though." He never even looked up from the desk and she shifted herself a bit closer to him in the chair. There was the barest glance up from him. "Sorry.. I can't really stop and talk all that much right now. I gotta get all these updated by monday."

"That's okay.. I'll just stare at you." She did just that, watching him try to act like it didn't bother him. "Did you know you have silver hairs?"

His hand went up to smooth at his unruly hair. "Yeah.. that's a scar. Hair came in the wrong color on it." His face colored slightly, showing his casual tone was a lie. "You ain't making me go gray quite yet.. although PFC Mouth might be..."

Giving a soft laugh, she leaned forward and put a hand lightly on his forearm. "Oh.. it's fine Beach! It's not that big of a spot.. you could always dye it if it bothers you. But it's way up on top of your head.. I doubt anyone notices it." Slipping her hand up and back down his arm, she felt the hairs stand up under her touch.

He shifted a bit but notably left his arm under her hand. "I don't care about a few gray hairs. Sure ain't gonna dye it."

She reached to ruffle the top of his head affectionately. "It's not gray.. it's silvery. Besides, there's not that many.. I bet I could pluck most of them.." She suddenly stood and yanked a few hairs, making him jerk back in surprise.

"OW!! Dang it woman!" He rubbed the top of his head and glared up at her from his seat. "Don't be pulling my hair out!"

She showed him the half dozen hairs she'd snagged. "Just the silver ones." Bending over slightly, she smiled at him, resting her weight on one hand on his desk. "Awww.. I'm sorry Beach..." Her face lowered a little more so she was looking at him from just higher than his face. "Should I make it up to you?"

He swallowed and absolutely forbid his eyes to drift lower to the nearly exposed cleavage in front of him. "I uhh...no need.. to.. erm.. I mean.." Without his permission his gaze dropped and he gritted his teeth as she leaned just enough to let the shirt open slightly. "I can't.. I.. "

"What's wrong Beach?" Her soft voice didn't pull his eyes away.

"I can't even think with ya.. standing here.. like this.. " Finally he managed to tear his gaze away to look up at her, just as she licked her upper lip slowly. "Uhh.."

She bent and kissed him lightly. "Can't have you not thinking..." He grunted softly as she lifted one thigh to straddle his legs and her rear touched down on his knees. "Is this better?" She faced him boldly, a slight naughty smile quirking one corner of her lips up.

He really did need to breathe.. that was pretty darned important.. couldn't for the life of him remember why right at this precise moment.. instead he decided that returning her kiss was a better idea. Some small part of his still working brain told him he was lucky her rear was on his knees.. not shifted any closer to the rest of him. The rest of his brain got hung up on the fact that her very shapely rear was planted on his knees... that and the kissing.. the kissing was occupying a lot of his working brain cells.. she was doing these things with her tongue..

_~RING~_

He slipped his hands to her sides, running them up her ribcage.. her hands busy running through his hair and then one slid down to the back of his neck to softly massage the taut muscles there.. all without either of them ceasing the whole kissing activity.. he fastened his lips to hers and tasted the flavor of her salad dressing..

_~RING~_

His brain started yelling at him again.. something about that annoying noise on his desk. Courtney sucked at his lower lip slightly.. the noise was important.. really..

_~RING~ _

He pulled away slightly. "Phone.. " Swallowing.. he was proud of the fact that he managed to identify the noise. "I uhh.." Answering the phone.. yes.. must answer the phone.. how exactly did one answer the danged noisy machine anyway? He fumbled the handset off and held it up just as Courtney kissed the side of his neck softly. "Uhh.. nughhh... "

"_Hello? This is Duke.. is BeachHead there?"_

He cleared his throat and twisted enough to remove his throat from those soft moist lips. "This is Beachhead.. sorry." CoverGirl's breath blew under his opposite ear.

"_Yeah.. I need to have.. "_ Duke voice faded to complete unimportance as Courtney nibbled his earlobe.

Even as his eyes started to roll up in his head, something about the loud noises in his ear from the stupid phone sank in to alert him that he really was supposed to pay attention to someone.. yeah.. on that phone thing.. Duke.. he was talking.. "Whaa... what?"

Now Duke sounded slightly confused. _"BeachHead.. are you there?"_

"Yeah.. Ah'm here.." He tilted his head around to remove his ear from the tank jockey's attentions. "Sorry.. Ah jus' didn't catch that." Ducking slightly aside, he avoided another attempt at his ear and hissed softly at her.

"_I need to have that security inspection report first thing in the morning.. were you going to make the patrol this afternoon? If you wait until after your shift, you'll never get the report done by morning. And don't tell me you'll just stay up and do it, I hate when you get all cranky for morning PT."_ Duke was beginning to sound peeved.

Beach assured him he'd get it all done. "No problem.. I was gonna get that done before my shift was up."

Courtney's lips spoke softly into his other ear. "What else is 'up'?"

His brain left again.. he really wasn't all that sure where it went.. or if it was a severe issue.. he was functioning quite well without it around.. lips touched his softly and he responded for a second.

"_BeachHead? BEACHHEAD?!? Do I need to come down there? Is there some issue with the phone lines again?"_ Duke's seriously annoyed voice cut through Beach's awareness again.

"No! Ah mean... no.. it's okay. Ah'm jus' a little distracted.. gotta lotta files on my lap.. desk! On mah desk.. jus' tryin' to get her all done so.. uhh.. so Ah can get that inspection done up right." A gentle hand slipped up into his hair and fondled through the tangles. "Ah'll get it all done.. "

"_Okay.. I expect that report first thing in the morning when I get in. Flint has the night shift."_

"Yeah.. got it.. Flint.. morning.. got it." Beach hung the phone up and looked at the woman seated on his knees. "Yer a bad influence on me.."

She gave him a sexy pout that made him want to suck on her lower lip. "So.. I should stop?"

"Oh..." He leaned in to kiss her again, slipping his hand around behind her back and feeling the solid muscles around the dip of her spine. "Nooo.. Ah think it's okay.. jus' fer a minute..." His voice had gotten husky and deep and he wanted so very badly for her to continue touching him and kissing him and.. he was about to get caught necking in his office with a subordinate. "Oh gawd.. stop.. someone could come in here and catch us.."

She let go long enough to nuzzle under his jaw. "I locked your office door..." Those incredible lips began to nibble along the tendons in his neck and he sighed and let his eyes shut to enjoy that really really nice sensation.

~THUMP~

He turned his head to frown at the door where the loud thump had come from. "Whut was that?"

Courtney smiled. "Don't know.. don't care.. I'm a little busy.."

~knock knock knock~

She touched lips to his cheek as he looked at the door. "Ignore it.. they'll go away.."

~KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK~ "Sergeant major???" Williams' voice came clearly through the barrier.

BeachHead swore softly. "Dang that stupid greenshirt.. Ah'm gonna hafta kill him and then Ah'm gonna hafta to go dig a danged big hole to bury the danged body.."

Courtney gave a soft sigh. "Ignore him.. he'll go away.. it's not important.."

~KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK~ "Sergeant major!! You gotta come quick!" The urgency in the young man's voice was very genuine sounding.. BeachHead tilted his head as Courtney's lips brushed his throat again. Private Williams was high strung and got upset at unimportant things.. probably wasn't anything he really really had to deal with right this minute.

~KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK~ "Sergeant major PLEASE!! Buyour has the Wolverine and she's using it to run over bubblewrap to win a bet with Ace but then this Jeep was sorta in the way.."

BeachHead was nearly knocked out of his chair by CoverGirl leaping up. "WHAT?! My Wolverine!?" He scrambled up behind her as she snatched the door open to grab Williams by the front of his shirt and shake him. "WHO THE HELL TOOK MY WOLVERINE?!?"

"I.. I.. uhh... Buyour.. but but..." He turned with relief to the big Ranger as he emerged half a second behind her. "Sergeant major! You gotta go.."

"Yeah yeah.. I gotta go stop ya'll idiots from doin' more stupid crap." Beach watched CoverGirl sprinting down the hallway, appreciating the view even as he wondered if she'd managed to murder anyone before he caught up with her. "Take the dishes outa my office back to the messhall."

Williams looked at the office door and back at him as he dug his balaclava out to tug on over his face. "Dishes?"

"Yeah dishes.. we was havin' lunch a'fore ya had ta come interrupt! What the heck do ya THINK we was doin'??" His growling bellow made Williams nod frantically.

"Yes Sergeant major!! Sorry Sergeant major!!" Williams ducked into the office while the Ranger headed down the hallway at a trot.

"Danged stupid greenshirts.. Ah swear to GAWD Ah'm gonna tear someone's throat out today.." BeachHead turned the corner and broke into a run headed for the elevators. Flint stepped out at just the wrong moment and was nearly run down by the speeding Ranger. "GET OUTA THE WAY, FLINT!! MAKE A HOLE!!" Beach sidestepped and bounced off the wall with one sturdy shoulder to avoid bodily crushing Flint. "Danged stupid Warrant officer always gotta be right in my danged way!!"

"HEY!! GET BACK HERE! BEACHHEAD!" Flint's yelling was ignored. "What's going on!?"

Williams came trotting up to carefully bypass the irritated officer. "Sorry sir!! Sorry.. did Sergeant major come by here?"

"What? Yes.. he just nearly ran me over!" Williams nodded and took off, following after the same path. "HEY! What's going on!? Blast! Why doesn't anyone ever tell me WHAT'S GOING ON!?!!?"

Clutch came at a rather hurried walk from the secondary lifts. "OH.. hi Flint.. you really probably don't want to know.. you just really should probably not go up top.. not that I know anything.. I was down here.. you'll vouch for me.. right?" He continued walking.. turning to point back at Flint as he escaped the area. "Especially if say.. you know.. CoverGirl wants to like.. murder me.. if my name might happen to come up.. regarding authorization for her Wolverine.. I was down here.. you got my back.. right? If she kills me.. lots of paperwork for you! You wouldn't want that!" Clutch nodded and gave a smile. "Love ya man.. I'll just be.. hiding.. for the foreseeable future.. " The mechanic slipped around the corner, presumably to find a place to hide.

"What?" Flint turned to look back along the now empty corridor. "Wolverine? OH no.. no no.. I'm not involved in this.. I'm not even on duty.." He twisted on his heel to head back to his quarters. "Duke can deal with this.. not my problem." He was just glad the Pit was completely sound-proof so he wouldn't have to listen to the screaming.

* * * *

End Chapter

Ahh.. greenshirts.. you'd think there was some conspiracy afoot.. or a betting pool.. but nooo.. the Joe team wouldn't do something like that. Never. Especially not when it puts greenshirts at risk of dying at the hands of the Sergeant major. Really. Why are you snickering?


End file.
